Welcome to the Moronic Fan Watch. Here, The Daily Philadelphian will keep tabs on fans throughout the United States and their moronic behavior. The goal is to show that Philly fans are not, indeed, the low class morons the national media have made us out to be throughout the years.
To be clear, we’ve had a few jackasses in the City of Brotherly Love. But, we’re far from the only city to house the village idiots.
STANDINGS — June 13, 2010 to December 31, 2010
1. New York 10 points
November 21, 2010 — One drunken doofus decided to get his LaDanian Tomlinson on by attempting to outrun a New Jersey State Trooper to the end zone.
Actually, the fan had some decent speed and we’re pretty sure the Washington Redskins brought him in for a workout this week. Check it out for yourself.
First, to go after the wife of the best free-agent-to-be is stupid. The Yankees are going to go after Lee. Think he’ll want to go to NY now? Of course he will because the money will be there. But, if it’s close with, say, the Yankees and the Rangers or Phillies, maybe that’s the strike that keeps the Evil Empire from signing the stud pitcher.
October 19, 2010 (a 2 point day) — Yankees fans have really come out in full force to show their moronic nature during this year’s ALCS. A day after racking up two points do to the trashing of the Rangers bullpen and running on the field, Yankees fans interfered in Game 4 –twice.
First, a fan pulled a Jeffrey Maier by giving Robinson Cano an assist on a home run. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Now, if Philly fans had done this…
Then, Steve Bartman showed up and took a sure-fire foul ball out away from the home team. In a game your team needs to win to have a fighting chance of advancing to the World Series, don’t you have to resist the temptation of going for a foul ball?
October 18, 2010 (a 2 point day)– First, a jackass runs out onto the field during Game 3 of the ALCS. We’ll update this when pictures and video are available. For now, all we can say is that NY has been on a roll since we launched this watch.
Later, fans trashed the Rangers bullpen, according to our pals over at Crossing Broad. Those Yankees fans showed some true Bronx Bomber class this week. Bomber in the sense that they must all be tanked watching their team fall to the Rangers.
September 2, 2010 — The New York thugs were at it again, causing a fight in the stands — at the U.S. Open. Seriously? A fight at a tennis match? One in which an elderly man is thrown down the steps? Even for New York, this is an all-time low. Yes, we know that the elderly man made the first lunge. That makes this even more audacious. Don’t these people know that it’s supposed to be dead quiet at a tennis match?
July 14, 2010 — Three New Yorkers decided to travel to the Philly region to cause chaos and give us a bad rap. Not on the Moronic Fan Watch’s clock. According to reports, three guys from NY took a bus trip to Chester to watch the Cetic FC face the Philadelphia Union. At the game, they took it upon themselves to alert police to an emergecny with the use of flare guns. Of course, there is a small prolem with that. There was no emergency and the punks decided to set off the flares for the hell of it. Congrats, morons. You’ve earned your fine city a point in the standings.
June 20, 2010 — Lady Gaga, described as a lifelong Yankee fan, was seen in a drunken state half clothed. Great role model for the families there to see a baseball game. While we debated counting Lady gaga’s actions, the fact that she is a true Yankees fan makes the story fair game. Congrats, New York. You and Los Angeles are running away with this now.
TIE — 2. Cleveland 2 points
November 14, 2010 — It seems that some drunken morons decided it’d be OK to take out their anger about losing to the Jets in OT last Sunday by tackling a Jets fan. He was 8. Yes, you read that right. The adult drunks tackled an 8 year old kid.
July 8, 2010 — Cleveland fans took to the streets and burned jerseys of former icon LeBron James. It’s honestly tough to include Cavs fans in the Moronic Fan Watch simply because Philly fans can feel their pain. We’ve seen countless stars leave our city. However, at the end of the day, this is an act we’d get railed for. As a result, Cleveland fans make the rankings. If nothing else, they burned $75-$150 jerseys is kind of dumb.
TIE — 2. San Francisco 2 points
November 1, 2010 — Upon the Giants clinching of the World Series, fans decided to go bonkers and throw bottles at cops, among other rude acts.
October 27, 2010 — Josh Hamilton, the Rangers stud basher, reported that Giants fans were engaging in some herbs during Game 1 of the World Series on Wednesday night. Of course, when their ace pitcher got nailed for weed last winter and, as far as we can tell, didn’t face any league punishment, what do you expect?
TIE — 2. Chicago 2 points
September 27, 2010 — While walking off the field after Monday Night’s game against the Bears at the “$100 million abomination” that is Soldier Field, the Packers Nick Collins encountered some rather nice Chicago gentlemen who reminded him of the color of his skin. That led to Collins throwing a mouthpiece at the guys. Sure, Collins probably should have maintained his composure, but that doesn’t give the Bears faithful a pass on our watch. Congrats, guys.
July 21, 2010 — Peter King of Sports Illustrated tweets the following: “I believe this qualifies as now-I’ve-seen-it-all moment: just saw a naked man in Wrigley Field bleachers men’s room washing up. Uh, go Cubs!“
So while Cubs fans aren’t defending Adam Burish or pouring beers on Shane Victorino, they’re parading naked in the men’s restroom. Let’s hope they’re not engaging in Strawbirdge’s type behavior here. This story likely never makes it past King’s Twitter account, but it should. And, now, it does.
TIE — 2. Los Angeles 2 points
June 25, 2010 — At the NHL Draft in Los Angeles, Kings fans showed Philly fans aren’t the only ones to boo the hell out of a draft pick. The LA Kings fans booed Cam Fowler when he was drafted by the Anaheim Ducks. We understand the crosstown rivalry and the fact that you support your team. But to boo a teenager on the most special night of his young life just because you dislike his team? Really? Classless.
June 2010 — Lakers fans rioted through the streets after their team ended a 367-day championship clinching drought. We can’t imagine suffering a year and two days waiting for our next championship. The audacity of making us wait that long to capture our second straight title.
TIE — 3. Seattle 1 point
November 7, 2010 — Seattle fans pour some beer on the Giants Steve Smith. Way to go, morons.
TIE — 3. Dallas 1 point
October 2, 2010 — More than 50 dopes were arrested for drunken behavior the night before the Texas-Oklahoma showdown. Looks like it’ll be another banner day for the state of Texas. Maybe we need to send Judge Seamus down to show the hicks how to maintain order.
TIE — 3. Philadelphia 1 point
September 20, 2010 — After three months of good behavior, a Phillies fan runs on the field during a key late-season matchup with the Braves. Redman, however, wasn’t tased. He suffered a far more funny fate.
In any event, Philly is now on the board. Thanks, jackass!
TIE — 3. Baltimore 1 point
July 22, 2010 — Since the Orioles can’t provide any excitement, a fan took it into his own hands to give the crowd its money’s worth. A kid jumped the fence and expended more energy than the entire team all year. Of course, upon watching the video, you have to wonder who’s more moronic — the fan or the cops who allowed him to make them look like idiots.
4. THE FIELD
Since launching the Moronic fan Standings on June 13, 2010, no other fans have acted out. We’re waiting. Someone do something stupid today.
About the Moronic Fan Standings
What really got us motivated and fired up to start tracking fan behavior across the United States was coverage of the recent Stanley Cup Finals. First, Dan McNeil hacked his way through a column in which he described the Flyers fans as low rent because some women were fat and some used profanity. OK, I guess that’s worse than throwing beer on an opposing player during a game.
McNeil is not the first, nor last, to do so. TJ Simers ripped Philly fans during the 2001 NBA Finals. Then, during the 2009 NLCS, he dug up and ran the same column again.
The bottom line is from this point one — June 13, 2010 to be exact — we’ll break down which fans are doing what. Each negative action will be worth a point. Then, we can see who has the moronic fans. Links to stories will be posted.
Since we can’t obviously keep track of everything, we’ll need your help. If you see or read about a moronic fan action in the United States, e-mail us at MoronicFans@gmail.com.
Thanks for your help. Together, we can paint a new image for Philly’s sports fans!