Welcome to the Moronic Fan Watch. Here, The Daily Philadelphian will keep tabs on fans throughout the United States and their moronic behavior. The goal is to show that Philly fans are not, indeed, the low class morons the national media have made us out to be throughout the years.
To be clear, we’ve had a few jackasses in the City of Brotherly Love. But, we’re far from the only city to house the village idiots.
2011 STANDINGS — January 1, 2011 to Present
1. LOS ANGELES 2 points
March 31, 2011
Dodgers fans beat a rival Giants fan into a bloody pulp. While you can find the story anywhere on the Net, we’ll give props to our boys over at TheSchoolPhilly.
A 41-year-old Giants fan was hit in the head, fell and whacked said head on the ground and then was kicked repeatedly by the same fans that TJ Simers praises whenever his cruddy teams face us in the playoffs.
March 19, 2011
A knife-wielding maniac rushed the court before a Clippers-Cavs game.
1. TIE — BALTIMORE 2 points
Baltimore has reason to be hiding its collective faces as well. Seems that an Orioles fan was ejected from Spring Training for yelling racist comments at B.J. Upton.
April 4, 2011 — Not to be outdone by LA and wanting to keep pace in the standings, an Orioles fan celebrated the Os home opener of the 2011 season by — what else? Jumping onto the field at Oriole Park at Camden Yards.
1. TIE — SAN DIEGO 2 points
April 22, 2001
A Padres fan…actually two of them…decided they wanted to meet the security detail at Petco Park. Mission Accomplished.
Two fans = two points on our watch. Congrats, clowns, you’ve moved into a first-place tie in our standings.
2. PHILADELPHIA 1.5 points
April 6, 2011
Matt Kravchuk…yeah the same prick who got Holy Family’s basketball coach fired because he was a tad rough with him during a drill… gets taken to the can for stealing a beer. The 19-year-old doesn’t want the attention.
Honestly, we debated including him because he was in the news as an athlete before this. Do we count him as a fan? We decided we have to include it, but this dick is only half a fan, thus the half-point.
January 9, 2011
Thanks, Eagles fans, for making us a part of the standings in the early going. It seems that a Packers fan’s car was vandalized after the Eagles early playoff exit. Two Lehigh Valley Packers fans came out after the game to see their mirrors and windshield wipers ripped off and damaged, as well as dents on their car. We’re all for letting other fans have it, but this crosses a line into physical violence that can not be tolerated. Stupid morons.
3. TIE — PORTLAND 1 point
Yeah, it almost hurts to put Portland on the list for this. I mean, who hasn’t wanted to throw something at Mark Cuban. Yet, that’s what a TrailBlazer fan did during the playoffs and we have to be fair. If it were Philly…
3. TIE — CLEVELAND 1 point
I guess this is what happens when you lose the only good thing to come out of your city in years. Either that, or kid is seriously stoked about the Indians fast start on the season.
Yeah, the kid decided to do the Humpty with the Indians mascot. Imagine someone trying that on the Phanatic. Yeah, didn’t think we were that perverted. Congrats, Cleveland.
3. TIE — PITTSBURGH 1 point
April 9, 2011
A fan at a Pittsburgh Pirates games was tased and beaten down by the Po-Po with a billy club. Shout out to Crossing Broad for finding this via Deadspin.
Take a look for yourself. And, note the national pride the fans of Pittsburgh exhibit.
Nothing screams pride like “USA!” chants while watching a guy go down via taser guns and clubs.
3. TIE — NEW YORK1 point
April 5, 2011
It took a few months, but the 2010 Moronic Fan Champion New Yorkers are on the board. Apparently thinking that the 7-1 pounding his team put on the Phillies this night was his cue to celebrate the only good thing to come out of this season, a Mets fan rushed the field at CBP.
3. TIE — DETROIT 1 point
While we are all for heckling opposing players, especially LeFraud James, fans have to have some class. Ragging on a player’s mom is off limits. Apparently, the same fans who tried to share their beer with Ron Artest decided to let King James’ mommy be part of their heckling ways on February 11.
James responded by allegedly cursing at the fans.
“I don’t care what you say to me. I don’t give a [expletive] what you say,” James said to the fan. “But don’t be disrespectful.”
While James was clearly wrong for his word choice, we can’t condone saying things about his mom.
Detroit, welcome to the Moronic Fan Standings.
4. The Field
Since the start of the calendar year, no other fans have acted out that we are aware of. We’re waiting. Someone do something stupid today.
About the Moronic Fan Standings
What really got us motivated and fired up to start tracking fan behavior across the United States was coverage of the recent Stanley Cup Finals. First, Dan McNeil hacked his way through a column in which he described the Flyers fans as low rent because some women were fat and some used profanity. OK, I guess that’s worse than throwing beer on an opposing player during a game.
McNeil is not the first, nor last, to do so. TJ Simers ripped Philly fans during the 2001 NBA Finals. Then, during the 2009 NLCS, he dug up and ran the same column again.
The bottom line is from this point one — June 13, 2010 to be exact — we’ll break down which fans are doing what. Each negative action will be worth a point. Then, we can see who has the moronic fans. Links to stories will be posted.
Since we can’t obviously keep track of everything, we’ll need your help. If you see or read about a moronic fan action in the United States, e-mail us at DailyPhiladelphian@gmail.com.
Thanks for your help. Together, we can paint a new image for Philly’s sports fans!